Inner happiness

For the longest time of 17 years without studying hard, I thought I would never attempt to study hard ever after.  However, my studying style has completely turned upside down ever since I chose to study overseas. The moment I stepped into a classroom with foreign language, I was extremely scared and puzzled. I felt like I made the biggest mistake of my life. I wish I had never asked my parents allowed me to study overseas. I knew I couldn’t take back the promise I made to my parents, so I chose to study hard to catch up with the modules. I have to admit that it was by far the hardest time of my life. Studying 80% of the subjects I had never studied before with foreign language was incredibly difficult for me, especially I was the one who had never attempted to study hard in the past. Therefore, I decided to put my heart and soul with tripling efforts on studying and it  was the time when I started to study day and night like a crazy nerd. After a few months of studying crazily, I started seeing results. I became one of the top 3 students in majority of the subjects I studied. I could taste how sweet the fruitful moment was resulted from the hard work I put. That sweetness remained in my head which pushed me to study even harder in order to taste it continuously. Somehow I was addicted to such sweetness which had become an ego of me. I couldn’t care anything else, but the results. I forgot how enjoyable the studying process can be. I forgot the beauty of daily life. I even forgot to care about my inner happiness.

It eventually took me a few years to realize the importance of inner happiness. Chasing for the results can give me instant excitement and happiness, but it can never last forever. These feelings can be very illusive just like externalities can be changed very rapidly. You can never hold it tight and make it stay the way it is forever. On the contrary, inner happiness can conquer whatever changes on the outside. Look at the digital artwork my friend and I created. We used cool tone colors which are not often the popular colors associated with happiness. However, I was incredibly happy on the inside and the feelings of happiness was very intense till a point where the cool tone colors had no effect on changing it  from a happy image to a sad image. Inner happiness also helps protect you from negativity. It is inevitable to avoid experiencing negativity in our lives. The negativity of our lives was being portrayed as the noises attacking me in the background. However, the level of happiness I had didn’t change a bit due to the fact that my inner happiness had already tuned itself into a big scarf I worn like an armor to protect me from negativity. I’m glad I can finally enjoy my life now due to the power of inner happiness and get to understand why many advocate “happiness comes from within”.

P.S. Thank you everyone for being patient with me since I took a break traveling to Thailand! ❤ I’ll try to upload my traveling photos in a few weeks. Stay tuned for that!!! 🙂

Stay positive and smile always,

xoxoxoxo Khloe

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